SEC Football 2012 Week 1 Preview

The 2012 season is now upon us and I for one cannot wait until it unfolds. It could not have come at a better time since I had spent many a summer weekend staring at my TV like a drunk Tony Montana at the Babylon Club when he had to watch that terrifying clown, Mr. Octavio, shaking his groove thing all around the dance floor.

Come to think of it, Mr. Octavio looks a lot like Les Miles, but that’s another story.

Let’s get right to Week 1 of the 2012 SEC Football schedule, which begins Thursday night in Nashville:

#9 South Carolina at Vanderbilt

This just in: I just called hell and it was 32 degrees this morning. Also, we are getting in another story, this one from Columbia, where it has been confirmed that South Carolina has finally arrived as one of the big boys in the SEC.

They will be in Music City against a team that is hungry to achieve what USC has accomplished, and that is Vanderbilt.

Head coach James Franklin has recruited well, and can coach, so that makes the ‘Doores dangerous every Saturday they take the field.

Although I like Vandy to be improved this year, it is hard to go against the overall talent Carolina has, especially since they can run the ball with Marcus Lattimore. He will be the difference as USC kicks off the season as the ‘Cock of the walk in the SEC East.

South Carolina 21 - Vanderbilt 10

Texas A&M at Louisiana Tech

A&M opens their life in the SEC with an interesting road game at Louisiana Tech. Um, that’s not a typo. Tech, not State.

The interesting part is that SEC teams usually host contests such as this, not have play dates away from their crib. We will be patient with the Aggies and remind them they are one of the big boys now, and they don’t have to bring the juice boxes or fruit snacks to anyone’s house.

A&M has one of the best offensive lines in the conference, studs and depth at RB and WR, but lost Ryan Tannehill, so bringing in a new signal caller might cause some growing pains.

Good thing the opponent is Tech, instead of State, so Freshman Johnny Manziel will get a game under his belt before things get serious.

The last ten times these two teams have played, A&M has won them all, with the lowest margin of victory being 21 points. Welcome to the SEC Aggies, you just got your first victory playing big boy football.

Texas A&M 35 - Louisiana Tech 14

Tennessee vs. N.C. State

Speaking of Louisiana Tech, their old coach will bring his Vols into the Georgia Dome for the season opener against N.C. State.

The Georgia Dome has been a house of horrors for the Big Orange as they have not won a game in the building since the 1998 SEC Championship.

Then they get the news their best receiver, and one of the best in the SEC, Da’Rick Rogers, has been suspended indefinitely, and probably will never wear #21 ever again in Knoxville. As far as timing goes, that was as welcomed as Haystacks Calhoun walking through the doors of your all you can eat restaurant just before it closes.

N.C. State has a really good QB in Mike Glennon, who threw for over 3,000 yards last year, and is your typical pocket passer. The defense led the country in interceptions last year with 27, so that should give the ‘Pack hope they can stay with UT’s dynamic aerial attack.

Tennessee, who was dead last in the SEC in rushing last year, must be able to run the ball to open up a dangerous passing game that still has teeth with Justin Hunter and Cordarrelle Patterson, and the brave, but dangerous Sir Tyler Bray. Sorry, I just had a Monty Python moment.

There are a lot of reports that this should be an easy victory for the Vols. But with an unproven running game, a juvenile delinquent in the off season for a QB, the loss of their best wide receiver and a defensive front that is learning a new scheme, I just don’t see how this could be a blowout.

In fact, throw in the fact that the Vols do not know how to win yet, and do not have a proven leader like Peyton Manning, Al Wilson, or Leonard Little to show them the way, or keep their heads up if they get behind.

Sorry, Big Orange Nation, your year begins, just like so many other games in the Georgia Dome, with a loss that will make you scratch your head and ask, “How the hell did we let that one slip away?”

N.C. State 24 – Tennessee 20

Buffalo at #6 Georgia

Every time I think about Buffalo, I get the red ass because it makes me think of former NFL Broadcaster, and Buffalo Bills player, Paul Maguire, who I refer to as Paul Manure, since he has diarrhea of the mouth.

One, I don’t like Paul Manure.

Two, I hate getting the red ass.

Three, I hate it even more when Paul Maguire gives me the red ass.

Four, Georgia beats the crap out of Buffalo.

Oh, and five, since I had to think about Paul Manure, and I now have a case of the preverbal red ass, could someone pass me the Boudreaux’s Butt Paste?

Georgia 58 – Buffalo 7

Bowling Green at #23 Florida

What’s this, Bowling for dullards? Well, the Gators needed a tune up for next week in College Station so this is exactly what the doctor ordered..

Speaking of doctors, I just hope all the physicians at Florida Field won’t doze off since they surely will be needed to revive Will Muschamp after he has his weekly stroke on the sidelines.

Florida 30 – Bowling Green 10

#14 Clemson vs. Auburn

Revenge time as the second of the twin bill of games kicks off on Saturday night as Auburn tangles with Clemson in a battle of Tigers.

Remember, it was Clemson who ended Auburn’s winning streak as they pasted Aubie and the boys 38-24, and got “Mr. Excitement,” Dabo Swinney, pounding his chest like he was on a three day Red Bull bender.

By the way, West Virginia just scored again on Clemson…

Gene Chizik has named Kiehl Frazier as the starting QB, which ads another weapon, especially in the wildcat, to the Auburn offense.

December 31, 2011; Atlanta, GA, USA; Auburn Tigers quarterback Kiehl Frazier (10) leaps into the endzone for a touchdown in the first half of the game against the Virginia Cavaliers at the Georgia Dome. Photo Courtesy By Daniel Shirey-US PRESSWIRE.

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Auburn has a great defensive front, and coupled with the fact that Clemson is young and inexperienced on the offensive line, that means advantage Tigers….Oh sorry, I forgot I need to specify. The Auburn Tigers.

Clemson is also missing star WR Sammy Watkins for the first two games because of an off-season arrest. Personally, I think they got the wrong guy. They should have arrested the entire Clemson defense for impersonating a conference champion in a BCS bowl game.

In the end, Auburn is too good on the line, and it will prove to be the advantage, especially in the second half. Besides, Clemson usually pulls an Albert DeSalvo in big games when everyone is watching, so they do have a track record of visiting chokesville.

Chokesville. Population, Clemson.

Auburn 38 – Clemson 21

#8 Michigan vs. #2 Alabama

This is a great one for both conferences. If ‘Bama wins, everyone can pound their chest from Missouri to Florida and say, “Told ya so…”

Whereas, if the Maize and Blue pull this one off, they can boast about knocking off the defending National Champs, and give everyone outside the Mason-Dixon line hope that the SEC stranglehold is coming to an end.

The Tide lost a boatload of talent, especially on defense, but they have star players at every position waiting in the wings, so they will not have to worry about missing anyone.

Michigan experienced a resurgence under first year coach Brady Hoke, who led them to a Sugar Bowl victory over Virginia Tech. They have a dynamic playmaker in QB Denard Robinson, who could cause problems, especially in game one.

However, The Tide have stopped similar QB’s like Kiehl Frazier and Jordan Jefferson, so they have had a history of stopping these types of QB’s.

Nick Saban has not lost an opener while at Alabama, and two of those were top ten showdowns that they won easily. I see a third coming out of the Lone Star State on Saturday night.

Alabama 34 – Michigan 14

Sleeper Sofia Time

Don’t want to bore you with the outcomes of these, so put on your favorite Foghat album (Mine is Fool For the City), grab a little Daddy’s Apple Juice and take a set in the man cave as these blowouts unfold.

SE Louisiana at Missouri

Missouri gets ready for Georgia, as Columbia will be rockin’ next weekend.

C. Arkansas at Ole Miss

Please, oh please, Ole Miss, don’t lose this one…

Jackson State at Mississippi State

I wish JSU Alum Walter Payton were playing in this game. I would love to have seen “Sweetness” in college.

Jacksonville State at #10 Arkansas

I think Jax State should come out of the tunnel driving motorcycles.

N. Texas at #3 LSU

I would love some hot Boudin and cold Cush Cush…

Kentucky at #25 Louisville

Forget football. Just put a basketball court in the middle on the field. That would be much more fun…By the way, this one will be a blowout, but for the ‘Cards, not the ‘Cats.

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